December 14, 2020


TOT#18 - Kenric and Melissa chat about...stuff.

Hosted by

Kenric Regan John Horsley
TOT#18 - Kenric and Melissa chat about...stuff.
Spoiler Country
TOT#18 - Kenric and Melissa chat about...stuff.

Dec 14 2020 | 00:47:35


Show Notes

As you heard earlier this morning we had a guest cancel due to illness and we recorded a TOT! Two TOT’s actually! Now John had left by this point, but that didn’t stop Kenric and Melissa!

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TOT 18 – Kenric and Melissa Part 2

[00:00:00] Melissa: Oh God. No, I mean, well, I hope that I can just, you know, I just wanna be able to keep writing, you know, forever and, and to make enough income to where I can do that just right. Or not have to. You know, yeah.

Just not, not have to get, you know, another job just, just focused on writing. Cause then I can really put more into it and I can produce more if I’m not focused, you know, on going into a nine to five job.

Kenric: Yeah, no, I feel the same way. I love my job. I love the people that I work with. they treat me really well.

They really do. And it’s given me a lot of opportunities that wouldn’t have otherwise, you know, buy a house because of that job. You know, it’s, it’s hard to sit here and go, Oh, I really just want to get another job. It’s not that I want another job. It’s just that I love this so much more, you know? So it’s hard to go with it.

It’s it’s more fun to be creative on your own

Melissa: stuff. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Cause you can [00:01:00] make your own hours. You can, you know, set your own. Boundaries and your own goals rather than having to, you know, report to someone. I think that was the hardest part of being in the hospitality industry is, you know, I’m a big family person, we’re Italian.

So during the holidays, I would have to work and it was just devastating because my family would be, you know, here at the house, you know, eating and drinking, having a good old time and I’m, you know, work until 10 o’clock at night. And so that was,

Kenric: that

Melissa: was really hard. Yeah, missing out. Exactly. And you know, when I was younger, I didn’t really, I didn’t care as much because you know, you’re, you’re out, you’re partying with your friends and stuff like that, but yeah.

Yeah. It’s crazy. Like now that I’m older and you know, I’m still young obviously, but, I, I it’s like, it’s more, I’m older. It’s just more important to me to like, be around my family and not miss out on that. Like, I just don’t think.

Would that? No, go ahead. Sorry.

Melissa: No, I was saying, I don’t think any job is, is worth, you [00:02:00] know, like losing a lot of time with your family.

Kenric: It’s weird because I started thinking about times when I was kid. And you remember like, like some of the things that stick with you sometimes is the fights, you know? Oh, this and that, or when you’re mad about something, but more often than not the things that come through in the memories. Is the times that we’re laughing, joking, doing something that my mom and dad made us do that we know none of us want to do, like getting in the car and driving down to Newport from Bremerton, Washington down to Newport beach, California,

Melissa: you know?

Kenric: Yeah. Why can’t we just take the plane and none of that understanding money or anything like that. And, but some of those car rides are like my most cherished memories. You know what I mean? Cause we’re all just stuck together and we’re all, you know, making fun and having fun and doing things. And it was just like, it’s kind of funny and now it’s like, I’ve lost a sister, so I don’t want to lose time with other, my other siblings.

So it’s was like, I really just want to be [00:03:00] able to hang out and do things with them more than, You know, like when I was a teenager, I wanted to go hang out with my friends and now it’s like, why did I, pardon me? Was like, why did I do that?

Melissa: Okay. It’s like the opposite now. I mean, my sister and I are four years apart.

So when we were, so now it’s really white, we’re close in age. But when we’re, when we were teenagers,

Kenric: she was like a little,

Melissa: yeah. It was like the little annoying sister that would always try to like embarrass me in front of my friends and stuff like


Kenric: Yeah. I’m four years younger, four and a half, almost five years younger than my brother,

Melissa: the younger one.

Kenric: I’m the youngest of four.


Kenric: so, you know, I definitely got the rocks thrown at me. He go home Ken, right.

Melissa: And this is really going to date, both of us, but you know, you remember when we actually had home. Rotary phones and landlines. And so I would be on the phone with one of my friends and my sister would get on the other phone and start yelling into it. Like, yeah, I have

the phone and [00:04:00] I’d be like, Hey,

Melissa: you know,

Kenric: how about you’re on the phone with your


Kenric: someone?

And then your mom picks up.

Melissa: Exactly.

Or they’re

Kenric: like, you’re talking, they pick up the phone and they listen.

They’re like, they just,

why are you listening? I can

Melissa: hear you breathing.


Melissa: And then we got the dial-up internet, then he couldn’t be on the phone if someone was on, on AOL’s. So that was always, I’d be like, I’d be on AOL and someone would pick up the phone and all of a sudden my connection would go, Hey, why aren’t you just start yelling?

Like you don’t have the phone I’m on the phone.

Kenric: Computer chat rooms. Remember chat

rooms. Yes.

Melissa: I remember chat rooms. I don’t remember being on the very much because I thought they were kind of weird and creepy,

Kenric: but they are weird and creepy. I think back I’m like, well, how was it on some of those chat rooms are

[00:05:00] so

Melissa: you know, so Dom.

Yeah, I was mostly, I was mostly downloading music pop of like Limewire Napster.

Kenric: That was the worst. My sister, the oldest sister. Worked at Microsoft all through the nineties. And I remember like in 96 she was part of the DSL program or she was part of a different thing, but they’re doing a, a test, like a employee test, like a internal test of the system.

As soon as you brought this motor home, hooked it up and we had. You know, blazing, fast internet. We had like, so yeah, we have blazing fast internet, you know, for like, like whenever they else was doing dial up, it was like, boom, boom. But we’re just going wherever we want it to. It felt like it was ridiculous.

Melissa: It was awesome. Yeah. That’s so cool. Yeah. It’s so funny now because it was so slow and there was literally [00:06:00] like really nothing to do on the internet back then, you know, it was a chat rooms and then, you know, doing the music stuff or,

Kenric: For guys it was porn. Yeah.

Melissa: Like all the porn. Yeah, exactly.

Kenric: And I remember like, Oh my God, he’s so hot and clicking on her picture and she’s topless, but it would take like five

minutes for this to come down.

Melissa: Yeah. And if you were like, I, I remember seeing this, like in the movies, you know, they would make fun of it. you know, like where there’d be like a kid and like the screen would like freeze or you click on something accidentally thinking it was like an ad, but it was actually like. Super not, not that.

And you’re like, Oh my God. You’re like, can’t get it off your screen. You’re afraid someone’s going to come in and take your look.

yeah, I just,

Kenric: what cracks me up? What doesn’t actually, you know, what’s funny with, when we talk about porn and the internet, do you know all the security stuff that we have and the way things happen?

The, the major porn sites almost drive all of that. [00:07:00] Right. Their whole thing is credit card security and virus protection, the major ones like the porn hubs of the world

Melissa: and stuff.

Kenric: They’re one of the driving and like video, like being able to see video that way and stream it, that all this almost a lot of, I don’t want to give off false numbers, but a lot of the streaming technology that we have came from the development from.

Porn sites.

Melissa: That’s so interesting.


Melissa: I guess that makes sense.

Kenric: Yeah,

Melissa: that makes sense.

Kenric: Yeah. Cause they were doing streaming. You know, 10 years before fricking Netflix came around, came around, did streaming.

Melissa: Right.

Kenric: You know what I mean? Before all the big guys like Hulu’s and all them, the porn industry was already doing it,

Melissa: like paved the way

it’s kind of

Kenric: like Google and YouTube are the only sites that are bigger than, than some porn sites.

Melissa: Yeah. [00:08:00] Google’s I mean, just insane. I can’t believe how much Google, the fact that Google has become a verb. You know what I mean? We, we say we’re going to Google something, right. Regardless of what search engine we use. Right. You know, kind of interesting. And whoever I’m

Kenric: going to Google it.

Melissa: Yeah. Yeah. I go, you better Google that or movies and

shows and stuff all the time.

I say it all the time. I say it.

Kenric: Did you Google it?


Melissa: yeah,

yeah, exactly.

Melissa: But that’s like huge. I mean, that’s kind of like, you know, when you have those brand names of things that become, actual verbs or whatever, like, like tissue, but we say Kleenex, even though there’s Kleenex is just one


Kenric: Even though it’s weird.

Melissa: It’s totally Q-tips you know, we don’t say cotton swabs. We say I need a Q-tip


Kenric: yeah. That’s a good one. I need a Q-tip. Yup. Yeah.

A Coke, right? Have a Coke. Yep.

Kenric: Yeah.

We have Pepsi.

Kenric: When really you want to call it, you have a cold. It

[00:09:00] Melissa: always cracks me up

in the,

Melissa: In the movies when, when they show like someone going into a bar and they always just say, let me, let me get a, let me get a beer.

And I’m always like, what kind of beer? Like, I mean, you make up a name. If you, if you’re not trying to, to, you know, do product placement for whatever reason, then for contract, then make up a fake beer name. Like we do it in books all the time.

Kenric: Right. Yeah, give me a beer and the guy just goes and gets them something

I’m like,

Melissa: do you have any types of beer?

There are

Kenric: tons of beer we sell. That’s what I, every time you want a beer, I’m getting you the one that’s $25 a glass. That’s what you’re getting.

Yeah, exactly.

Melissa: You’re getting the, a Stella private reserve, whatever the crystal goblet with

Kenric: bars. And, and I have a funny, well, I have this story that I don’t know if it’s funny and you decide.

The first time I went to Chicago, right. And it’s for work and I get off the plane and it’s at night, it’s like six o’clock at night. [00:10:00] And I go down to Michigan Avenue. Have you been in Chicago?

Melissa: I have not, no.

Kenric: Okay. Chicago is amazing. Go to the summer, go in the summertime. It’s it’s it’s

Melissa: dad was married to, briefly to someone who was from Chicago.

So he went there a couple of times with my sister. I’ve seen lots of pictures, but I just never could go with them.

Oh, you should. You need to go.

Kenric: It’s it’s pretty, it’s pretty cool in the summertime. Just don’t go to South the South side. That’s where all the, I think that’s where most of the violence happens, but they, Man.

I, I got off the plane, right. I go to my hotel, which is at the end of Michigan Avenue, near the Lake. And that was at the Marriott residence. And I walk up the street and I’m like, dad, I’m hungry. You know, and I find this, Just a little bar, right? It was pretty, it’s kind of touristy, you know what I mean?

But it’s just, just a normal bar. And I walk in and I sit down and the one thing was Chicago and Illinois has in general is the people are super friendly. Like Seattle is known for this thing called the Seattle freeze

[00:11:00] where people who

Kenric: have moved from other locations and go, come to Seattle, they have a hard time making friends.

Cause see, I was very quick. Yeah, it’s very cliquey. Especially the residents that have been here their whole life. They have their group of friends and it’s hard to, to it’s unusual in Seattle for it happens. So anybody you don’t kill me, but you know, this is true. Most neighborhoods don’t do like neighborhood barbecues or it’s, it’s weird if you go and you know, all your neighbors, you know, people live in the same name of for 20 years and they don’t really know their neighbor.

They know your name. They’ll have to, if they

have to deal with

Kenric: them, but they’re not friendly.

Melissa: That makes sense because yeah, when I go visit my friend there, she lives in one of those little smaller, you know, sub suburbs in Seattle. And I don’t think she, she’s not super friendly with her neighbors, but she’s her and her girlfriend have been there for, gosh, I want to say five or six years now.

And they, and they do have now a really, really good, group of friends in Seattle. But [00:12:00] yeah, I don’t think it was. The right of way. I don’t think it’s called like a group.

Kenric: It’s an actual phenomenon. People can Google it. It’s called the Seattle freeze

and you’ll be like, Oh, it’s so it’s odd.

Melissa: You go to Chicago,

Kenric: everybody’s overtly friendly.

Right? That’s good. I’m in, I’m in the bar and the guy goes, Hey, where are you from? He goes, what are you doing? I’m like, Oh, I just flew in. And he’s like, Oh, you’re for business travel. You know, all that kind of stuff. And I’m like, Oh, I’m from Seattle. He goes, Oh God, I don’t known for a lot of beer. And I’m like, yeah, dude, you can’t throw a rock without hitting the microphone here.

And it’s just

Kenric: true. And they’re all. Yeah. And he’s like, well, you know, Illinois is getting really well known for their peer. And I was like, okay. I mean, right on, I’m not, I’m not a big beer kind of sewer by any stretch. So it’s like, this is the weirdest conversation to have with me anyways. You know what I mean?

I like,

Kenric: I’m learning to like more light beer and loggers because I don’t want to. Frank, if I drink, IPA, it just fills me up too much, but,

Melissa: yeah, they’re heavy.

Kenric: Yeah. They’re heavy. So, but he’s like, Oh no, [00:13:00] dah, dah, dah. And then he proceeds to tell me all the beers they have on tap that are from Illinois, like green line and some other ones.

I can’t remember all of them. And he goes, this one is interesting because it comes in from Italy. Right. So it’s not local beer, but it comes from in, from Italy and. But it pairs, they thought of it as pairing with food.

I was like, Oh, that’s cool.

Kenric: He’s like, yeah. What kind of pizza do you like? I’m like, Oh, you know,

he’s like you

Kenric: spicy non spicy.

Are you a meat eater? I’m like spicy meat. Yeah. He’s like, okay. He orders me a pizza gives me a beer that is specifically, should go with

spicy type

Kenric: food. And with that, with that palette and pays for the whole meal and beer for me. Wow.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

Kenric: And then gives me like a flight of, of different styles of all the different beers that they have that they offer there.

And I was just like, pardon me? I was like, man, [00:14:00] I’m

just, is he handsome? You know what I mean, but he’s super

Kenric: nice. And you won’t get that. I don’t think you’d get that. You might get that in Seattle if you meet the right person,

but it was just

Melissa: frosty treatment by anybody, you know, in Seattle. I think some people are definitely, they’re a little more reserved.

They’re not as chatty, you know, California, everybody’s super chatty here. you know, I mean, especially in the hospitality industry, like it’s just really. Yeah, I don’t, California is great. I mean, it’s such a big state, you know, it’s sorry. It’s so different. Like from South, you know, Southern California to Northern California is like totally night and day as far as,

Kenric: are you

in Northern

Melissa: California?

I’m in Northern California. Yeah. so like

I’m about,

Melissa: I’m about to two hours away from San Francisco.

Oh, okay.

Melissa: Okay. Yeah. So I actually prefer. Northern California, just as far as like [00:15:00] the climate and that it’s super laid back. Everyone is really chill as we like to say here. you know, and it’s beautiful way we go up to Lake Tahoe a lot, or, you know, we did prior to this year, And the trees.

They’re just, you know, that just the air everything’s cleaner. It smells better. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I do like Southern California too, but it’s a lot more stressful in Southern California right now. The traffic is really bad. The small is really bad. It’s yeah. Oh my gosh. Super image conscious. and, and the heat, you know, in the summertime, it’s just, it’s this dry, like, you know, they all live with the Santa Ana winds and yeah.

Yeah, it’s just different. It’s it can be fun. It’s I have friends that live there, so, you know, I probably go once every couple of years. I know that’s not that that often, but, I’d much prefer like the mountains.

Yeah. CCC in

Kenric: 2017 and then again in 2018. And that was the last time I went to San Diego 18, but I, I really love, I love Southern California.

Like my dad grew up in [00:16:00] Newport, so we’d go there for Christmas. You know, and then he got a job down there for like six months, but he hated it. So we came back up here.

Yeah. But

Melissa: fun place to visit, like you were saying, like Newport’s beautiful. And

Kenric: I mean, last time I was in Newport was in 1990, so it’s a lot different now.

Melissa: The last time I was there too, to be honest. my, yeah, my dad’s ex wife worked for a hotel chain, so she would get like these comp nights, you know, where you could take. You know, basically stay in a hotel for free for a few nights.

What’s that?

Kenric: Is that how you got into the hospitality business?

Melissa: Yeah, my parents, both of them have been in it for their whole lives. Yeah. My dad was, Keystone manager has been a bartender, you know, waiter cook my mom too. She did event coordinating and, Actually my mom’s got some great stories about when she was an event coordinator.

She actually, did the lead singer to popper roaches wedding


Melissa: and one of the members [00:17:00] of corn, she did that wedding too. So. Yeah. So it was, I grew up, literally grew up at a restaurant. I mean, I would go do homework, you know, at a table at a restaurant when I would get out of school and wait for my parents to get off work.

So yeah, it’s like in our blood here, but yeah, that was the last time I went to New York and my sister too. Yeah. We dragged her into,

when I thought I’d get out, they dragged me back

Kenric: in.

Melissa: Yeah, exactly.

Kenric: Or did you guys do small ones too? Or

Melissa: a little bit of both. I mean, I started out like waitressing in local fine dining restaurants.


yeah. Huge difference. fine dining is definitely. I prefer. yeah, I mean, when you have just like a different clientele of people, a lot of times when you work in some of those like chain type places, you know, like a TGI Fridays or whatever, you just don’t get any respect at all when you’re, when [00:18:00] you’re working.

And the food’s not really good. Yeah. Everything’s your fault. And a lot of ’em. Yeah. It’s like a lot of chaos, you know, about 15,

Kenric: $20 is not fucking a hundred.

Melissa: No, exactly. Or, you know, you’re lucky if you get 5%, sometimes

Kenric: what’s a good I, so I struggle with tipping,

right? Yeah.

Melissa: Cause sometimes

Kenric: one, like my sister was a, a waiter or waitress, whatever.

and she made great tips and she was at an op


Kenric: And she made great tips, but she was amazing. You know what I mean? And you know, and it’s a small town, everybody knows each other. So they knew if they went there, Kathy was going to treat them really, really well.


but at the same time, it’s hard when you’re sitting there, you see a bill for a hundred dollars or whatever it is.

And you’re in a man in my head at calculate, okay, I had this, this and this. I could make this at home for this much. And then I’m paying over. Cause I get I’m paying for the experience and I’m [00:19:00] paying for a professional chef to do all this stuff. Right. I almost rather like the end bill doesn’t bother me as much as is I’m having to add more to it.

I would much rather that I don’t even know the tips added in, just put the tip in.

Melissa: Yeah,

Kenric: just charge more so you can pay your people more. I’d rather have that then. Oh, I have a hundred dollars on me. Oh, I want to get, no, I got, gotta think about this other thing too. Or I feel like a Dick.

Melissa: Yeah, no, that’s an interesting way to look at it.

And I think they did that in Europe for a long time. cause a lot of Europeans didn’t know that they had to tip us when they would come over here because over there it was already included in their bill. And so that’s why they, they got kind of a reputation, for, for being cheap or whatever, but they just didn’t really know, but they were supposed to do

it’s, it

Kenric: like a.

What do you call it disrespectful to


Melissa: How weird is it in some areas? Yeah, I know it’s bizarre. Yeah. When I went to Oh God [00:20:00] years ago, I was in my mid twenties. I went to The Bahamas and I stayed at one of those all inclusive resorts. And it was the strangest thing because you, you weren’t supposed to ever pull out your wallet at all.

You literally paid for everything in advance and that includes skirts. Two it is. But as someone that worked in the restaurant business, it was so difficult for me to like, not leave a tip or just to like walk up, like you would sit at your table, you’d eat your food. And then when you were done, you would just get up and leave.

There was no bill because you’ve prepaid. Yeah. So I was just, the weirdest felt like I felt like I was, you know, what do they call it? Like dine and dash or whatever you’re on, you know, just get up and leave without paying. It was so weird, as such a concept, but, you know, It works because then the servers are, are getting, you know, higher wage, you know, same with like country clubs are like that too.

The members don’t usually pay because it gets like billed to their member account.

Kenric: Right. And they just pay a monthly thing.

Yeah. What do you,

Melissa: how would

Kenric: you rather be though, if you were still waitressing, would you [00:21:00] rather be. Paid a higher wage or was the tips good enough where you’re like, no, I don’t want that W2 for, I mean, I guess that’s it digresses is listening.

That’s not what I mean.

Melissa: Yeah, no for sure.

Kenric: Yeah. Yeah. But what I’m saying is though, I mean, do you think you’d make more. Including the tips or do you think it’d be better if they just said we’re going to take the tips out, but we’re going to charge another 20, 30% on top of what we charge on that, on the menu items.

Melissa: Yeah. No, that’s a great question. I mean, first of all, I, I do have to say that the minimum wage, FA. At early, especially spatter, especially federally needs to be raised definitely to $15 an hour. It’s just ridiculous. No, nobody can survive on 11 bucks an hour,


Kenric: For waitresses.

Melissa: Oh yeah. New Mexico Taylor.

Two three

Kenric: hours,

Melissa: but at least, yeah, that was really bad. So I definitely think that needs to happen. but yeah, I think the tips are something that, you know, you, you live off of, or it’s, especially with the [00:22:00] cash tips, you get that, you know, that night. So if you need to go to the store, cause you need some milk, you don’t have to wait two weeks for your paycheck.

You know, you know, you’ve got. 30 40 50 bucks depends on where you’re working too. and that’s another thing is when I was thinking about fine dining versus, you know, some of these like lower. Like chain type of places. Yeah. You work twice as hard at like, say like a TGI Fridays for like, just to even try to reach what you could make working at fine dining fine dining is a lot of knowledge.

You know, you have to know why, and you have to know food. You have to be knowledgeable about what you’re serving, but just as far as the physical work goes, Yeah, you have your section. You’ve got a different clientele of people coming in, people that are used to going out and know what to expect, and they tend to tip more of the menu.

Items are priced higher, so the tips are going to be higher, you know? And so it’s just not that it’s not hard work. It is. But I feel like when you’re working at like a [00:23:00] chain type of a place, you know, where there’s like 150 menu items, you know, cheeseburgers and milkshakes and this and that, I feel like you just, you work so.

Hard to like barely bake 50 bucks, a hundred bucks. You know what I mean? So I would definitely prefer, I prefer fine dining if I was going to be doing mitigate. And for sure,

Kenric: huge difference. Like I don’t mind going to Applebee’s, you know, and getting something my ex I don’t expect a lot from the waitress or the waiter,

wait, staff,

Kenric: this is the proper pronoun to use nowadays.


Melissa: yeah,


Kenric: I want to be respectful, you know what I mean? Yeah. Whether my internal beliefs are what it is. It doesn’t matter. I want to be respectful. And if people don’t want to be called a course or a stewardess or, or, you know, it’s a snacker, Hey, you know what? I respect that. But,


Kenric: my, my, my expectations are widely different when I go to.

Applebee’s I don’t, I don’t freak out on [00:24:00] things. I’ll tell them, Hey, this was cold or this was wrong. Or, you know what I mean?

Just fix it. Don’t

Kenric: affect your tip with me unless you’re know about it. You know what I mean? And that affects the tip. Cause it’s like, Oh my God, you just made this way more difficult

than it needed to be just I’m good.

Kenric: But we there’s a restaurant in Bellevue called ascend. It’s amazing.

Melissa: Sounds fancy.

Amazing. Yeah.

Kenric: When you go and you sit down, you don’t get, you don’t get one person waiting on you. You get a team of people,

whether it’s just

Kenric: you or two people, you know what I mean? Somebody will come up and they’ll have two or three helpers.

And they’ll, they’ll do the menu with you and they’ll explain everything while the other ones are getting everything else ready. It is incredible. And then

you said,

Kenric: you know, like the desserts, one of the desserts, I always get there as the magic mushroom. And it’s literally comes in like a fishbowl [00:25:00] inside.

The fishbowl is just like a hand-carved log of chocolate. With this hand carved mushroom thing on top, it looks like your village. It is unreal.

It’s a work of art. That’s the only way to put it. It’s a work of art and they have like, they have duck fagua as a, as a. As an appetizer.

Melissa: Oh, that’s my favorite. I love flogger out. And they’ve abandoned in California again. Second time now. Yep. They keep doing it because of, you know, I get it like people that are vegan or animal rights, things like that, but I mean,

Oh, I’m sorry.


Melissa: Yes. The bone marrow, the fogger, I guess

give it to me. It’s all good.

Melissa: No. It’s really good. It’s a seared flogger up on top of feminine.

Yeah. That’s Oh, but

Kenric: yeah, go to a sin in Bellevue. I [00:26:00] mean, bring your pocket book and it’d be expensive.

Melissa: Well, you know, when I, I go out to dinner, I try, I tend to do, I don’t go out all the time.

So when I do, I want it to be really nice like that. And I, and I plan on spending two to $300. Sometimes I went to Nobu in New York can spend 400 bucks, years ago. We just, everything was. It was such an experience, you know, like you’re saying, like you’re paying for, you know, this whole team of people to serve you and all of this time and energy has gone into making every single menu item.

You know,

Kenric: I think for what they’re doing, when you think about what they’re doing, the experience that they’re afforded, if it’s done right. You know what I mean? Cause there’s some places that just missed the Mark. Like you go in and the staff doesn’t know what they’re doing, or if they do their, they don’t explain things, right.

Or the chef who’s ever cooking, whatever you’re getting burns it or doesn’t, you know, comes back different. Those are the things that kind of bug you when you’re in a fine dining. Could you, if you’re spending three, $400 on the [00:27:00] meal and then you expect it

Melissa: to be right. Worth that.

Kenric: And it’s funny though, you get it done and it’s right.

Like ascend does it, right? Every, like I’ve been there three times now and they’ve done it right. Every time when you, when you get it right. The experience is, so you think about it years later, especially if you don’t it, especially for somebody who doesn’t go all the time, you know, and to me, it’s like, these are people affording you a glimpse into how somebody who makes.

An amazing amount of money lives

day to day. You know what I mean?

Kenric: Like you feel like royalty when you’re able to eat that way. Every once in a while. I think it makes it special. I, I I’m the same. I love

Melissa: Koreans.

Kenric: Yeah,

Melissa: I to chill. Yeah. I love it. Just being there. I, it just puts you in a great mood. You know, you’re almost like floating, you know, for the whole night you’re getting bottles of wine and the lighting is cool.

The decor is always cool in restaurants. Like. That. And like you said, they treat you, [00:28:00] they treat you like you’re royalty because they know how much you’re spending. And, so they’re going to, they don’t care, you know, who you are if you’re famous or not famous or whatever, if you’re sitting down and ordering, then you know, that’s their tip that’s, you know?

Yeah. And so I’ve, I’ve had really good experiences with, with places like that. And so, yeah, that’s what I look forward to.

Kenric: We had another experience. That was the exact opposite and this place is always amazing. Right? So a coworkers coming out, I’m like, we got to take it to this place. It’s called John Howie steaks.

They’re amazing. Right. John Howie is a guy that is, they own a bunch of restaurants and they’re all like high end restaurants,

Melissa: you know? Okay.

Kenric: And we go there and we’re eating and we order, and first everything comes, everything looks great to feed sitting on the other side of me and this fly is buzzing around Atlanta wine, earned a drink.

She’s like,

Oh no.

Kenric: And she calls [00:29:00] the waiter over and he’s like, Oh my God, they get their new one. And then two more flies come and land right on her side.

Melissa: She’s

Kenric: like


Kenric: Yeah.

And then

Kenric: the manager comes over and he’s like, well, what do you want to do to me? And that right there just drives me nuts. What do you want to do?

No, no, no, man.

Kenric: She just had a fly land on her food. You expect her to eat it. You know what I mean?

Melissa: Yeah, no, that’s like the worst question you can ask, you know, cause I guess I’ve been in hospitality a long time and I’ve been a manager before as well. So you never asked the guests to like what they want to do.

You get, you provide the solution, you know, and jumped to like making it, I believe you can fix anything if you have the right attitude and turn it around, you know?

Oh no, no, this gets,

Kenric: this gets worse. Right? So the guy’s like, well, I’m going to make you a new steak. She’s like, great. You know,

she didn’t say it like that.

She said, okay, cool. Because she’s really laid back. She’s like, okay, cool. Yeah. So

Kenric: they make that steak

and the kid

Kenric: comes he’s like 17, 18 years old comes and puts the plate down in front of her. [00:30:00] Right.

Walks away.

Kenric: We eat, we do bananas fosters. So they come and do the whole thing. Right. Cause they do it old style.

Melissa: Have a couple of that. Yeah,

we’re leaving.

Kenric: Okay. Here comes that kid walking through the restaurant, knuckle deep in his nose.

Just giving

Kenric: her her steak 15 minutes before. And we’re like, she was like, Oh my God, I’m going to throw up. You know? And she was like, I

can’t believe

Kenric: this happened. You know? And so we’re leaving.

Yeah. And she

called, she goes,

Kenric: she couldn’t eat. She had half her steak eaten and she was like, I’m not eating the rest of this.

Melissa: Can’t blame her.

Kenric: And she goes, we’re leaving the restaurant. She’s like, I just want to leave. And the manager is in a little cubby hole and she goes, she wasn’t gonna say anything.

And then she would have to say something, look, you know, this happened, but the thing is, he didn’t do anything to help her out. You know what I mean? [00:31:00] And we had just paid literally a $700 bill cause there was three of us.

Melissa: Oh, wow.

Kenric: Yeah. And we’re just like, come on dude. And, but she was like, look. First the flies.

That’s one thing that you guys took care of it. That’s great. But you need to talk to your buddy there. He’s walking through your, your restaurant and this is a four star restaurant. Wouldn’t be surprised that they get some point. And you got a guy walking through the restaurant, knuckle deep.

Melissa: Yeah. They’re not going to get one with that.

I mean, yeah. Well that’s just against a health code and, and this was the, what was this? This was in Seattle, in Washington, right? This is in Bellevue, Bellevue

Kenric: between Seattle and Bellevue. See, I was very independent or a very liberal Bellevue, the exact opposite, like bill Gates. who’s the guy that owns Amazon.

Hmm. Jeez man, Jeff Bezos, they all live in Medina, which is the

tiny, tiny, adjacent

Kenric: town of Bellevue. Right? So it’s like some of the [00:32:00] richest people in the world live in Bellevue. And so you go there everything’s super clean. They don’t deal with homelessness very well. Right. You’re gone. You know what I mean?

They just like in shipped out, you know what I mean? So it’s just,


Kenric: it’s a nice city. Don’t get me wrong. But, you know, I’m, middle-class white guy, so of course it’s great for me, you


Melissa: Yeah, of course it’s all about perspective

Kenric: for sure. Exactly. So, but, you know, they have a ton of fine dining there a ton, so it was just like, it was so weird to be in Bellevue and,

and see that.

Kenric: And it was just like, what the hell.

Melissa: Well, places like that, you know, if that’s kind of their ML, if that continues, like they just, they won’t make it, you know, no matter how expensive they are or whatever, because I mean, I don’t know about Washington, but in California we have really strict health codes. I mean, before you can even work in a restaurant, you have to have, a card I’m like totally blanking on that.

Okay, perfect. Yeah. Certain card you got. Yeah, food handlers. I’d say I’m blanking on it. yeah, so [00:33:00] there’s like a whole process and, you can’t just, you know, have someone walking around picking their nose, like, especially on the floor where everyone can see you. Right.

Kenric: He was so

ill. He was a teenager,

Kenric: probably wasn’t thinking, you know what I mean?

I hope the manager, I’m sure the manager went talk to, I’d be shocked if he didn’t, I’d be like, dude, I would contact at getting rid of him. You know what I mean?

Melissa: I’d be like, Oh, for sure. You guys are putting him back in training, you know? Yeah,

Kenric: yeah. Yeah.

Melissa: Well, that’s another pop like with the wage being the way it is, they can’t, you can’t, it’s hard to attract a good caliber of employee because you’re not paying people enough.

So a lot of times when you go to these places and there’s these young kids that, you know, lack. You know, professionalism or, or lack training. It’s it’s literally because like that’s all they could hire at the wage. They’re paying,

Kenric: you’re getting people who need [00:34:00] the job, not want the job.

Melissa: Exactly. And then it’s on the, you know, the management staff to like, you know, if, if there’s something wrong and it’s their fault because you, you have to be able to be a leader and, and train people and, and kind of, you know, even young people, you know, everyone deserves a shot.

Of course, even if they’re young, especially if they’re young, But when you just hired someone and kind of give them a pamphlet to read and then put them on the floor and then you can’t really get mad at them for not knowing

what to do. So I looked it up.

Kenric: I said like $2 an hour in Arizona. That’s what it was in 1990.

It’s now seven 15 to 1470. Yeah.

Melissa: Oh my God. That’s ridiculous.

Kenric: $7 an hour. In 2020?

Melissa: No. Now I know. I mean, even California, it’s 1150, I think now, or, or it’s, it depends on the size of your, of your establishment, but if you have like a small business, that’s $11, the fear big corporation. It’s like 1150 if I [00:35:00] remember correctly, but that’s like insane because the cost of living is so high here.

I mean, everything from gas to food to utilities.

Kenric: Yeah. It’s the same right here. It’s ridiculous. It’s it’s, it’s like. The amount we pay for gas is dumb. You know what I mean? Whenever we’re paying like a dollar 99 last year or this summer or something, we were still paying like three bucks, you know?

Melissa: And it was just like, we’re up to like three 85.


Kenric: yeah. Yeah. It’s just nuts. Yeah. The taxes are nuts.

The, the, the

Kenric: go buy a house here. You know,

it’s ridiculous, but

Kenric: they’re calling Sal the next San Francisco, which is scaring the hell out of me.

Melissa: Yeah. That’s that is scary because I don’t, I don’t think it was, yeah. The first time I went to Seattle was 11 years ago.

I went for my birthday and it was, I don’t feel like it’s changed all that much, you know, as far as like scenery and like [00:36:00] vibe and any, anything like that. But I, I do remember the price. The price is being not as high 11 years ago as they are now.

Kenric: Yeah.

Yeah. It’s it’s, it’s the whole thing is just,

Kenric: it’s incredibly nuts.

It’s like, I feel like every time I get a raise, then my cost of living has already gone up more than what my raise has afforded me.

Melissa: Oh, it’s totally it. Yeah. It never really balances out. And then, you know, when you talk about like, Oh, well maybe I should move to the Midwest or something. Yeah. But it’s like, well, the jobs don’t really pay there either.

So even though the rent is significantly last or the cost of the house is less. But now you’re not really working a job. That’s paying you very much either. So

Kenric: I can keep my job and work remotely. Yeah,


Melissa: The goal. Yeah. Yeah. If I ever, you know, become a bestseller and can make enough money off my books, then yeah.

Maybe I’ll move out of California so I can actually enjoy the money.

Yeah, boy. Yeah. Nobody wants to see you in a Speedo though, dude.

[00:37:00] It’s totally true, but

Melissa: it’s or anyone for that matter

Kenric: Brazil in 2003, right? I remember all the guys were just tiny, tiny Speedos,

Melissa: and it’s insane to me.

I know I can just do the beach.

Kenric: I’m just like.

Man. I,

Melissa: you know, it’s funny. I have a lot of friends that are from Brazil and, a couple of them have moved back there, you know, in the last 20 years.

But yeah, but I do remember when they were all living here and. Yeah, we’d go to like these meetups there on the beach or whatever. And a lot of them wearing Speedos and I thought, Oh, that’s,

you know,

Kenric: European,

Melissa: like yeah, exactly. And it just looked weird. I was, I never

Kenric: really, Oh, with guys wearing Speedos is weird, but then girls wear these crazy revealing

two piece bikinis.

Melissa: Yeah. I don’t know. I guess the, because it’s just

Kenric: women are just inherently better [00:38:00] looking. Or is it

Melissa: just that tail? Yeah, I think, no, I think it’s more of a conditioning thing. You know what I mean? Because like I said, in Europe, it’s completely normal for, you know, for, for men to wear the Speedos. I wouldn’t think so either, but I see, I think the same way about those, those people that ride bikes with them.

Kenric: Oh yeah.

Melissa: No. And they’re like, Oh, aerodynamic, it’s this and that. But like, but does it have to be bright neon blue?


Melissa: Can it just be black or gray or,


Kenric: I can’t do tidy whities. Why would you even the people that do, like, I know a lot of guys that do like the

half tidy half. Jock,

Kenric: even that, for

Melissa: me,

Kenric: I’m like, I don’t know. I want to be comfortable. I feel weird, but it’s the


Melissa: now. It’s scary. I get it. I was like, yeah, I think comfort is like really important, you know?

and a lot of people just don’t get it. Like they want to just, I dunno, what are they [00:39:00] suffering

Kenric: style?

Melissa: If anyone ever listens to this, they’re going to be like, what are they talking?

How do they get there?

Melissa: It literally need to get out more.

I don’t know. I guess this

Melissa: is what it’s like people COVID


Kenric: thing. When I went down there. I never felt like I was never, the last person picked football or basketball or whatever it was. I was never the first person picked dealer. You know what I mean? It’s middle of the road.

You don’t

Kenric: find that PE athletic enough always felt comfortable in my own skin. I have never felt more unathletic in my life than going down and hanging out on the beach in Brazil.

Dudes are sitting there and they all look,

they all look like [00:40:00] Adonis.

Kenric: And they’re all playing volleyball, but they don’t use their hands. Every, the volleyball is all done with knees and their feet, and they’re doing, they’re spiking the ball by doing like bicycle kicks over the net. And it’s just like, and people are like blocking it with their knee in their head.

And you’re like, are you fucking kidding me? I

can’t what

Melissa: they’re really big into volleyball. Another very athletic. I mean, like I had some Brazilian friends and they’re all gorgeous. The guys on the girls, they were beautiful people. I thought, wow, this is a really gorgeous race of people, you know? And, cause they weren’t, and there was still athletic and natural.

Like the women, the women, I hadn’t, I knew didn’t wear a lot of makeup. They were just, they’re all super tan and glowing, you know? And

Kenric: she was from Brazil. Same way. Didn’t wear a lot of makeup just naturally cute. Yeah. You know what I mean? I’m pretty athletic when we go and we do things she’s always good at everything.

she’s just [00:41:00] emotionally unstable for me.

Melissa: He can’t have everything. Right,

right. Exactly. I was like

Kenric: 10 years though. It wasn’t like, we didn’t give it a go

that’s why

Kenric: is it family? And then, you know, we did our wedding down there.

It was a lot of fun.

Melissa: But you’re right. Where in Brazil are you guys that

Kenric: we’re in a scifi?

So, which I guess Americans would say recipe because with an R

Melissa: and then we say the age. Yeah. That took me a long time.

Kenric: The heel is narrow, you know? But,


Kenric: It’s, if he is, if you look at Brazil and it comes, you know how it it’s like the Eastern most point. On the ocean.


so yeah, we went there and we got married in his Sophie and a small church that was built in.

  1. Oh five. It was pretty amazing.

Yeah. Yeah.

Kenric: The neighborhood was,


not the best neighborhood and it was right next to it for Bella. And so we had armed guards

Melissa: at our wedding. How that’s [00:42:00] scary.

Kenric: I mean, it was fine,

you know, and it was fine.

Kenric: And you’re like, Oh, I have armed guard with Uzis at my wedding.

Melissa: Literally. It’s so weird. Yeah.

Kenric: Well, it’s through all the, all the, my family for a loop,

Melissa: the non Brazilians. Yeah.

Kenric: Everyone else was like, man, whatever. But after a while it was nothing, you know, and then it was cool. Cause the wedding planner had a interpreter for me. So everywhere I went and the reception and the, and the

Melissa: accurate

stuff, she was

Kenric: interpreting everything that people were saying all

Melissa: around me.

That’s really cool.

I was like, Oh fucking,

Kenric: this is awesome, actually.


Melissa: Right. You’re not just in the dark, like everyone’s like talking shit about you and you have no idea.

Kenric: I introduced them to, which is kind of cool. And they’re still married. They got status and they’ve been together. Yeah. Yeah. Cool.

[00:43:00] Yeah. It’s nice. Yeah,

Melissa: no, there, I mean, I have so many great memories with, with my friends from Brazil. Like I said, a lot of them moved away. No, I have it. They were trying to get me to go. but I was super young at the time and my mom didn’t want me to do it. So I just never did. But yeah. At some point I would like to go over there and yeah, I know exactly.

I was like, Hmm. Maybe not a good idea.

Kenric: I know how it is now, but when I went down there, they loved Americans. Yeah, man, it was, I. Dude. I, I, if I wasn’t getting married, I would have had too good a time. You know what I’m saying?

Melissa: Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah. They like to party too. They’re they’re some of the best parties I went to and in my late teens, early twenties were Brazilian parties.

Cause they were just, and it was great because it wasn’t just the young kids. I mean, the parents would be there. The grandparents, everyone would be eating, and, and dancing Samba. And it was just, it was a lot of fun and, you know, Yeah. And it was pretty similar because being I’m Sicilian. So [00:44:00] like we have, that’s kind of how our culture is too.

We’re very much like everyone’s together. The family having fun, you know, it’s not like a lot of American families. Like the kids don’t want to hang out with the parents, you know, when they’re a certain age, because like, Oh my parents aren’t cool. But like when you’re Sicilian or Brazilian or, you know, I know a lot of Mexican families are like this too, where, you know, everyone just hangs out.

It’s like a party with your mom, your dad, your grandma, your auntie, you know, everybody. So.

It’s and

Kenric: Tia and yeah, they’re all there.

It’s kind of crazy. Yeah. Yeah. I love it.

Kenric: Well, I’ve been on for a while.

Melissa: I know we have, I was like, Oh crap. Speaking of food too, I start to get hungry. You were talking about all the food.

I’m like, I gotta make dinner.

Well, thanks for hanging out.

Melissa: Yeah, thanks for, thanks for chatting.

Yeah, it was fun.

Kenric: Let’s say just in case we do release this,

what date does

Kenric: after I fall,

Melissa: I fall comes out [00:45:00] Tuesday,

Tuesday, the 27th,

Melissa: 27th,

Kenric: October, 2020. So if you’re hearing this before you got to wait or you can pre-order right.

Melissa: Yeah, the Kindle is up for pre-order and actually I’ll tell you a little secret that I haven’t really announced, but you can actually go on and buy my paperback right now.

Kenric: There you go. Get on there,

get it, buy it.

Kenric: And then if it’s after the 27th, it’s available now on and Kendall.

Melissa: That’s right.

Kenric: All right.


Kenric: See ya.

Melissa: Talk to you soon. Have a

Kenric: good night.

Thanks, bye.



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