The Down Low: The Joker Film Is A Dumb Person’s Idea Of A Smart Film

The Warner Brother’s film The Joker just finished it’s first week domestic run with a record smashing $137.5 million dollar gross and raving audience reviews. Not bad at all for a film produced by a man with a dim view of comic-boom films. Too bad the film itself is set on a shaky foundation.

Let me clear the air here: I haven’t actually seen the film. I mean, who has the time? I have read plenty of critic reviews, and they are salty! As Richard Brody of The New Yorker observes, The Joker (starring River Phoenix) is:

I don’t even know what that means, but that shit had a green splat beside it, so you know it’s bad, you Oscar fiendin’ bitch! You hear that Phoenix? In my hood they’d say “Ya got burned, son!” [Editor’s Note: That is not what they say in his “hood”]. I’d say that’s more than enough to dissuade me from watching this drivel.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg!

That’s a film critic from The Wall Street Journal. I think I’ll side with that guy before I listen to any mouth-breathers tell me what’s good. Again, I have not seen this film, but if I had I’m pretty sure I’d be on the same wavelength as the guy that writes for “The diary of the American Dream”.

Honestly I think it might be more damning to read the positive reviews of the film. I mean, look at this chud:

Seriously, dude? What a dork. I’ll bet he has at least one samurai sword purchased from a gas station. On a stand. On his mantle. Probably calls his living room his “Dojo”. “I feel seen”. Yeah, I’m pretty sure people see that big head of yours, regardless. I’m glad you got out of the house to see this film. Seriously, I am. Like I said before: I have not seen this film. At all. Good for you, Powderboy. You’ve got one on me. The thing is, I’ve seen a billion reviews of this film from people way smarter than you that say the exact opposite of what you did. Sorry, dude. Go home and talk about it on the internet.

Okay, brah… glad you got out of your purple haze or whatever to watch a movie. I’m pretty sure in your case “blunt” means “a hollowed our cigar filled with marijuana” rather than the original definition of being “uncompromisingly forthright”, ya stoner.

This film, y’all…I swear. Anyway, if you need me I’ll be watching Magnolia or something… shit.