It Takes a Village (To Start a Riot)
Gang, due to my extensive social calendar, I have had plenty of time to revisit the whole Frankenstein series from Universal. I had the foresight one tax season to pick up all the box sets (except the Invisible Man, didn’t see it…), so I decided to watch them all.
I’m not going to bore you all, yet amuse myself, by going through each movie, review by review, and tell you how much I love them. I admit, I love some more than others (House of Frankenstein). Some I thought the makeup seemed a bit off (Frankenstein meets the Wolfman). Some blend together (All of them, I mean, it’s black and white Frankenstein).
The Creature (Frankenstein was the doctor, not the monster…well, in theory) gets a bad name throughout. This poor guy, or lady, is lying around in multiple graves, until Ygor comes around, and starts taking body parts, and the Doctor is reattaching limbs, messing with God’s work, put in a criminal brain, and “BOOM!!!”, he’s alive after dying multiple times.
This brain not only has to process the fact that it’s working again, it also has to control the nervous system to various bodies sewn together, so that he can walk. I didn’t see the Doctor measuring out parts. Hell no, he’s sewing them on willy nilly. I’m sure he used diligence in putting the creature together, but you and I both know, you have a few pieces left in a home project, towards the end you’re going “fuck it, close enough”. So you get this man driven by a brain of a madman, controlling his mad thoughts, controlling different body parts, in a world he’s somewhat unfamiliar with, then the villagers show up.
These people are terrified when they should be filled with wonderment. This creature is the first of its kind, gives them hope for when a relative dies too soon because of an accident, and is a walking, talking (in Bride of Frankenstein anyway) god damn miracle. Yeah, he killed a few townsfolk accidentally, but who cares? Let’s face it, in the time this movie is taking place, the life expectancy was maybe 40. Honestly, you leave him alone, the good Doctor could have brought them back with his kite and electric eels.
But no, they overreact in every movie. They call him an abomination. They call him evil. They say he’s sent from the devil. They get their torches. They get their pitch forks. They get their sticks , shovels, and hoes, and they go to destroy not only the monster, but the castle where he was made as well, so he can’t be replicated.
Them getting torches should tell you that they are back wood rubes. The Doctor has electricity. Why don’t the townsfolk? Because they’re milking god damn cows for a living, don’t believe in evolution, and is letting a man who swore off sex and so you know he’s angry to tell them what to do!!!
So I ask you dear reader, who is the monster here? Is it the man built from others, confused, scared, dare I say fragile in mind? Not in the body, because obviously they had to use large body parts, because technology was shit, they didn’t have microscopes you could look thru and operate like today, you needed large parts, so you could eyeball it.
Or is it these God fearing mobs, hell bent (pun intended)on wiping out the devil’s creation…or as we call it today…science? I mean, once the movies ended, the next time we saw a crowd this amped up and outraged was when Trump won the election.
The answer is obvious.
Guys, I am no longer on My Worst Holiday, so if you feel you need to reach me and tell me how wrong I am, or what exquisite taste in movies I have, or see my workout pics (gym rat), you can find me at Jay J Roach (yes my middle name is Jay, no my mom didn’t name me after Jimmy Walker’s catchphrase, I predated it, yes she claimed she stuttered) on Facebook, or jaycanchu on the Twitter machine, and Instagram. I promise you that you will get no real insight from me, minimal political commentary, and comments on naked people on Twitter. I am a cad. But I do answer 96.3% of all messages.
Author: Jay Roach
Jay was born and raised within a 30 mile radius of Ottawa IL, home of Scotty Bowers and a guy who was in soap operas. His family was Catholic, somewhat filled with ’50 Ideals and conservatism, which they attempted to pass down, and lifetime Democrats.
Jay am none of that nonsense, though he is probably more liberal in social views than most of them. He's tattooed, has two wonderful boys who are both talented, one a musician, the other designing games. He have two ex wives that he still get along with. Jay have two cats (Chloe and Panda Lucifer) who are ambivalent towards Jay's existence unless wet food is involved.
Previously, Jay was the cohost of My Worst Holiday, and left on good terms but will still fill in on occasion. He now write nonsense articles about whatever grabs his fancy, from old Universal Monster movies, to lunch health, to lists that get stuck in deep in his head and has to purge them.
Jay is pretty sure he is allowed to hang around because he have watched a LOT of Burt Reynolds movies. (This is true)