Why Superman’s Morals Stunted Clark Kent’s Growth
Superman, for the most part, is the moral compass of the DC Universe. Sure, there has been Bizarro Superman, yep, there’s been a Bad Superman, and even an Angry Superman, but for as long as he’s been around, the majority of the time he is levelheaded, uses his powers for good, and has the wellbeing of humanity first and foremost on his mind, when making decisions. Believe me, I think that this is good for a man with an arsenal of super powers, who has sworn to protect the earth.
It sucks for Clark Kent though. This poor guy went into a field where, I guess at the time they got the news faster than anyone else, but basically he became his own press agent. I guess that’s nice if you’re having a bad day, you can spin it however you want, but really…lame. Unfortunately, with Captain Morality, he’s limited…but if he would loosen his right and wrong a little bit…
I mean, if I had his skills, I’d be making a lot more bank
Five Jobs Clark Kent Would Make More Money At
Union Sheet Metal Worker
The guy has lasers for eyes. He can cut through metal. In fact, I am guessing any union construction job pays better than being a reporter. An average newspaper reporter makes $43,640/year in 2019. An average tinsmith makes $44,387 without overtime. The only drawback is you can do superhero stuff on the sly, and say you’re on assignment. You leave a jobsite, and after 10 or 11 times, even the union won’t defend you any more. If he’s a laborer, he’s making $55,224. The reason I’m saying union, is he lives in a city, and there is no way he’s getting a construction job that isn’t union.
TSA agent
Starting salary is a bit below what a reporter makes, but when you have x-ray vision, super strength, and can’t be hurt by bullets…you are going to move up the ladder quickly. The high end of that is $91k, so there is room to make some cash. Once again, it may be hard to slip away, but I think the ability to scan everyone with your x-ray vision can make some lines move quickly, so I bet they’d let you off.
Insurance Appraiser
Honestly, come on, it’s a perfect fit. You work on your own schedule, you are under your own supervision, and you sometimes destroy buildings. You can kick a bad guys ass, go into a phone booth, and show up and get to work. That, and you make almost $20k more a year than your current salary. Even if you hate your job, you can take pleasure in the fact that you are costing it money every time you fight a super villain.
Stuntman
You can’t be hurt, bullets bounce off of you, and you are around starlets all day, so you are swimming in pussy, plus make almost double what a reporter makes. You can’t be a Liefeld version of Clark Kent, because you are too jacked, but the cross-fit Superman/Clark Kent would be just fine. Did I mention that you’d be swimming in pussy? Good looking, muscular, smart, probably amazing stamina…you could probably part time in porn as well, though the men make less than the women, so it would be a paycut.
Professional Gambler
I know what you are thinking…JR…that is a game of chance and a little bit of skill. Let me tell you, if you have x-ray vision and half a brain, you could make a living hitting the poker tables about once a week. Look at Dan Bilzerian, he’s the closest thing we have now to being Superman (despite the heart attack, cocaine is his Kryptonite), and he doesn’t have x-ray vision…or does he…hmmm. Myself, I’d plant myself at the high end blackjack for about two hours a day, going to different casino’s around the world so they don’t catch on, and just consistently make money. If he’s smart, and I’m assuming he is, he can make about $10k a month, and save on travel because he can fly. I realize that it’s cheating to use his x-ray vision, but hey, a skill set is a skill set, and being able to see the dealers cards during black jack is a skill set I wish I had.
Professional Wrestler
I know, Spider-Man did it in his movies, but think about it. He could be the ultimate baby face, could probably wear his costume to work, travel the world, and all his fans would think its kayfabe. That’s fake for you marks out there. That’s fans who take it a little too seriously to you marks out there. He can take a beating, can do either flippy moves (I hope not), luchador, death matches, or even hard style, and he’s fine. He seems to have a decent personality, and with the internet, independent starts can make a really good living because they can get their names out there.
There are many jobs that Clark could do that’s better than being a reporter. I guess he could go freelance, and that would give him a lot of freedom, the ability to travel and not be questioned why he’s there, and honestly, he’d probably make more money, since he’s basically on the front line of news. Hell, he’d probably be better off writing books about it. If he could just meet up with Peter Parker, they could probably win a Pulitzer between the article and pictures.
I also ruled out being an athlete. I’m fine with him cheating at gambling, because they make billions of dollars, and as long as he doesn’t turn greedy, he’s earning a good living, but his abilities make being in a sport for money unfair.
Other jobs he could do as well without a degree, and above average intelligence. Manage a construction office (very little intelligence needed), communications industry lower level, Locate utilities (would never miss, just need to carry paint), porn, Police officer (be hard to sneak away for international criminals), tower light bulb changer (I’m assuming they make good money, no way I’d get up there for cheap), Security guards make okay money. There are a multitude of jobs he could have done, and made more money, and provided better for himself.
Welp, by the time you read this, I will be back from Horror Hound in Indianapolis, where I’m meeting Henry Rollins. This is a lifelong dream, and I’m pretty stoked about it all.
As always, I’m @jaycanchu on most social media. Questions, disagreements, suggestions…find me there, or on facebook, or tell Overlord John or Ol’ Kentucky, and we’ll be in touch. Does that sound like I’m lonely?