‘Tis the Season – Shop Early, Shop Often

Gang, this list is mostly for the guys in Spoiler Country, because they’ve probably been fretting what to get me for Christmas.  I am not hard to shop for.  In actuality, I hate receiving gifts, so more than likely they will all do the appropriate thing, and not get me nothing, but just in case…  (You dear fans are also invited to get me nothing, but if you insist, message me, I’ll send an address)

  1.  Cash    One size fits all.  Instead of you getting me something that is “perfect” (how many times have I heard that), just give me a few bucks.  Sure, it’s impersonal, but I can live with that if you can.  I am working on a master formula for xmas, that I just write a check to everyone, that is for how many years I’ve known them x’s which level in my life they are.  Once I get those numbers in place, Christmas will be easy
  2. Gift Cards    A little risky, especially to me, because I get them, put them away, and never use them.  I have a Dunkin Donut’s one from last year, never touched, and I go there a few times a month.  I’m pretty sure I have some from when I was married somewhere.  I’m sure she got those in the divorce.
  3. Comic Books    Now, every guy is different, but if you are around them enough, you know what they like.  I like Amazing Spiderman Silver Age stuff, though a nice bunch of any age of the first series is appreciated, in case I want to try and finish the run  (if I do, I will need the afore mentioned cash), Tomb of Dracula’s (You can get them relatively cheaply, I have all the pricey ones other than #1), Howard the Duck (any series but 1, I have two complete runs), and Werewolf by Night (most anything, this is still a bee in my bonnet)
  4. Art supplies    Anything is suffice.  Coptic markers are always nice, black or any colors, they’re expensive, and I use black and shades of gray a LOT.  This is the year I start painting, so at some point, I need an easel.  And brushes.  And paints.
  5. Workout clothes    Gang, I’m pretty excited, because I am can wear mediums and not feel like im choking myself out.  It’s winter season, and I’m a het generator, so you can go to Kohls, and get all sorts of stuff on clearance for cheap, and pretend you paid full price, I don’t care.  I prefer UnderArmour, but I’m not a dick (okay, I am a dick), but anything is appreciated.  You can go large as well, I’m on the cusp
  6. Shoes   I need some new shoes.  Always.  I’d like some new work out shoes though.  I like UnderArmour, they fit good, aren’t bulky, and are like wearing socks.  Same with Puma.  Or Brooks.  I don’t care for any other brand honestly.  Though I’ve always wanted to try those shoes with the toes…
  7. Name a star   We got this for a friend for her birthday, and I’ve wanted to do it for me ever since.  Unfortunately, in my head, that is beyond egotistical.  Wouldn’t a SpoilerVerse star be sort of cool guys?
  8. SpiderMan statue   I hate to admit it, but I look at the statues all the time.  I want one with heft, so cat’s can’t knock it over.  They’re bastards.
  9. Cupcake corer    They’re just a few bucks, but I never think to buy one, so I can make cream filled cupcakes.  I never make them except for other people, so this can only benefit humanity.
  10. Honestly gang, I don’t want friends and family to get me anything.  I hate getting gifts, it causes me great anxiety,  What I’d really like is for everyone who reads this to donate to your local shelter.  If you can’t afford cash, bring them in some old towels or blankets.  We try and put together a care package to where we adopted Chloe, with wet food and whatnot, for all the babies looking for forever homes.  You could do something for humans too, but do that in your own name, I only like furry little babies.

  There you go gang.  Moral of the story, go take care of those furry little babies, and don’t worry about this furry old man.

  As always, you can find me on Instagram or Twitter @jaycanchu.  I’m on facebook as well.  I am pretty boring on all three, but I need followers.

Author: Jay Roach

Jay writes lot's of stuff for Spoiler Country. Check out his Roach's Den if you want to dive deeper into his mind.

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