“It’s rucked up,” stated the disappointed Great Dane”
Scooby Doo, the beloved children’s television star, won’t be appearing on the CW Network’s crossover event Crisis On Infinite Earths due to a casting dispute. The 240 year old (in dog years) actor had planned on joining the full cast on the major network event, but unfortunately the rest of the occupants of The Mystery Machine were either unwilling to appear or unavailable for filming.
Reached for comment, Velma Dinkley was able to shed some light on the story, stating
“It’s really hard to get back with the gang now. We’ve all gone our separate ways. I don’t think I’ve talked to Fred or Daphne in years. It really would be nice to get back into the shagon-wago- I mean “Mystery Machine” again one day, but until they pay me what I’m worth I’m afraid those days are behind me”.
Talking through bites of a comically large sandwich, cast star (and series best friend to the beloved talking dog) Shaggy Rogers gave a somewhat different account.
“It’s like, we say we grew apart, man, but Scrappy got picked up by the fuzz and we lost him for a few years. I hear he was adopted by a good family. And like, I’ve had my problems too, you know? After I while I just figured being a part of Mystery Incorporated was causing me to self-medicate and eat my problems away. Like, I really had to start worrying about me. It’s crazy but… everyone I see now I think “who’s that really? Is that really their face or a mask, man?”. My anxiety was through the roof, and I know what you’re thinking: It’s not the po- …Scooby snacks. It’s the idea of not knowing what cranky old billionaire or jilted business partner was going to come out of nowhere dressed like a monster or something. Like, I wanted to be on the show, but I have to worry about Shaggy now. Besides, the money they were paying was peanuts….mmmm. Peanuts. Anyway, like I don’t see what the big deal is. We did special guest stars all the time! Sonny and Cher. Dick Van Dyke. Hell, we had the Harlem Globetrotters and Kiss. You think that because they also have some second rate superheroes it’s gonna make me want to work for pennies? Still, I guess there’s some part of me that misses that old shagon-wago- um… yikes, uh…mystery machine”.
In a podcast interview with Daily Planet reporter Lois Lane earlier today, Scooby Doo says of his former pals
“It’s rearry rucked up rhat re can’t work romething out. Re used to re a team! Ri called Rred Rones rhe other day and he said his heart just rasn’t in it Runny thing about Rred… Refore are had the show, he used to call the Rystery Rachine the “fu-[inaudible] Ri guess Ri can’t tell that story here.”
Fred Jones, as well as Daphne Blake, and Scrappy Doo were unavailable for comment.
The Crisis on Infinite Earths crossover event is set to begin airing on December 8th starting with the CW program Supergirl and continuing on through the various DC CW television shows through January.