Ewoks vs. Porgs: The Spoiler-verse Showdown!

Star Wars has been full of interesting creatures ranging from large and grotesque to cute and fluffy. Two of the most adorable creations have been the battle hardened Ewoks from Return of the Jedi and the cute and cuddly Porgs from The Last Jedi.

Now you may think that the answer to the question, ‘Who would win in a Spoiler-verse showdown, Ewoks or Porgs?’ is an easy one. But, is it really? I mean when you get down to it while Ewoks have the ability to protect themselves with sticks and rocks, the small bird like Porg is ABSOLUTELY adorable and would be a blast to have as pet.

Let’s see what those in the Spoiler-verse think.

The fact that this is a debate just blows my mind.  Porgs, though cuter than Ewoks, are basically cute chickens, who’s only use is to be filled with steroids, mass farmed, and feed millions thru Tatooine Fried Porgs, or TFP’s.  Ewoks, though furry little homunculus, are primitive warriors, who eat what they kill, be it a human, another species on Endor, or takeout from TFP’s.  They are kind, curious, and good spirited creatures, unless provoked. 

Jay Roach (My Worst Holiday Podcast)
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+1 for the furry little homunculus Ewoks

Ewoks! They are better in my Opinion cause they for one. Had more screen time. They are far more resourceful and have an actual sense of intellectual ability. Porgs are like really cute chickens in the end you’ll eat them if you’re hungry. No matter how adorable they may or may not be. Cause nobody ever said “this chicken tastes like it wasn’t cute !” Usually things just taste like chicken. And I’d be surprised if there wasn’t a restaurant on Canto Bight that doesn’t sell CFP or CANTO FRIED PORG or that while gambling for weaponry you can’t enjoy some porg wings and a JAVA the hut mocha latte and Ewoks well hell they’ll mess you up. There ain’t a build a bear in the universe that’s got coconut sized midichlorians daring enough to put Ewoks as a sellable item. For fear of Giant logs

Deej Penhollow (A Cup of Cheer Podcast)
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+1 For the giant log swinging Ewoks

When presented with the question, which is better Porgs or Ewoks, my mind will only accept one answer…… PORGS! Name a better species to team up with Chewbacca, you can’t! Porgs are clearly the superior creature created, that never needed violence to solve their problems. They are simple, harmless creatures, instead of the cult known as Ewoks, that worship C-3PO as a god, like who would ever worship C-3PO!?!?!?!?! There is absolutely no reason in the galaxy to not wan to own a Porg. If not as a pet, as a non-stop supply of food, as they seemingly never stop multiplying. More pets = More Fun!

Colton Bird (Contributor)
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+1 for the “Superior” Creature… Porgs

Tough question. Mostly because I don’t think they are comparable. Ewoks are an advance race with a society and political structure. Sure they are cute, but they are really murder teddy bears. Porgs are just cute kickable footballs. So if the question is which do I like better? I couldn’t tell you because they are not comparable. If it’s which one is CUTER, murder bears, always.

– John Horsley (Spoiler Country)
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+1 For the Murder bears…errr… Ewoks

It’s been a question asked since Star Wars episode 8: porgs or Ewoks? The two creatures in the Star Wars universe look like they were specifically made to get that extra merchandising dollar (and they more than likely were). Ewoks weren’t just tribal jungle creatures, they were stocking stuffers. Porgs weren’t just fuzzy little space penguins, they were Easter basket fillers. I’ll answer this age old question real simple: There is no situation in which porgs could be better than Ewoks. Porgs were an afterthought. They were a problem that production had to overcome because there were actual penguins in the way and they were spending too much time digitally erasing them to do anything else. Ewoks were fuzzy. They were cute. They were also ruthless as hell. They were the Zulu’s taking on the British empire, the Lakota versus General Custer, or maybe more reflective of the time the movie was filmed, the Vietcong fighting US forces in the jungles of Vietnam. The Ewoks aren’t a joke. They’re a force to be reckoned with and worthy of respect, and porgs? Porgs are meant to be roasted on a spit.

– Casey Torrence Allen (The Comic Jam)
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1 for the stocking stuffer Ewoks

How can you NOT Love Porgs? They are cute, fluffy yet feathery and waddle around like penguins. Ewoks are mean… poking people with sticks and capturing them in tree nets. Let’s not forget to mention THEY EAT HUMANS! Porgs on the other hand just fly around making their cute little QWAAAAAAY! noise and just look adorable. Give me Cute and adorable over human eating murder teddies any day!

– Robert Slavinsky (Shootin’ the Sith)
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+1 for the fluffy, feathery, waddling Porgs

When it comes to the Spoiler-verse it seems Ewoks are the preferred creature of Star Wars, but what about the Twitter-verse, what did they decide?


There you have it. The showdown of the AGES… well not so much. But who doesn’t enjoy a a fun discussion when it comes to the creatures or anything related to Star Wars?

If you didn’t get a chance to vote on Twitter now is your chance! Let us know who you would choose down below in our Ewok or Porg poll.

Finally, don’t forget to check out Shootin’ the Sith a Star Wars Talk Podcast.

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